Wildlife

Two back to back blog posts you ask?  Well after the day I had today, I simply had to share with you. 

As a little background ... I have been working on this big, federal grant proposal that is due Tuesday and as a part of it, I had to get all the sheriff's in my district's signatures.  So today, I set out to transverse the Third Judicial District of Mississippi in search of signatures, and well, everyone should travel these roads once in their life.  They are full of animals you have to really see to believe.

1. As I leave Oxford heading north on Highway 7, I cross into Marshall County and see the biggest dog I have ever seen standing in the middle of the road.  As I slow down wondering why the big dog doesn't move, I realize something.  This is not a dog.  Oh no.  We have a cow that has gone rogue.  And she is not happy with the current traffic situation. And she is staring at me like it is my fault that she has escaped from whatever insufficient pen her cow farmer was keeping her.  All I can think of is how Robby yelled me not once but twice in the past few weeks to never swerve to avoid an animal walking into the road.  I believe his words were: "Just hit the animal Ashley; they aren't worth causing an accident"   Hmmmm, for some reason I doubt this is the situation he had in mind.  So I decide swerving from a dead stop, cattle Mexican stand off would be appropriate and escape the potentially cattle-strauphic situation.  (By the way, don't worry about the cow.  I promptly notified the Sheriff's Department about said angry cow and after convincing them that I was not making this up, they left to find the she-devil and return her to her rightful farmland).

2. Fast forward three counties and two hours of my life and I have made it to Union County where I encounter following story.  Now, this story has nothing to do with me directly, but it is just too good to not be shared.  And it did happen today so it totally counts.  Apparently, the officer in charge of supervising house arrest folks had a guy that was having some malfunctioning monitoring equipment so he went to pay Criminal a visit.  When he gets there he realizes the problem is with the transmitter thingy (I didn't get the technical terms from him, sorry) which Criminal states is located in his bedroom.  Well, upon inspection our supervisor realizes that the wire has been chewed all the way through - by the GOAT in the guys bedroom.  I could elaborate on this in so many ways but will let your minds go where they will.  All I can say is the man had goat poop all over his room so the goat was apparently making himself at home.

***Relatives:  There was no evidence that the goat man was related to us or even living in Ingomar.  Just a random guy in Union County.  Cue sigh of relief.***

3. Fast forward to somewhere between Chickasaw and Calhoun counties.  I notice there is a small field that is on fire next to this little house off the side of the road.  It is obvious that this is an intentional fire because there are two men standing by the road supervising the blaze laughing and chatting.  The problem is that there are a least ten kids ranging in age from probably 5 to 12 sporadically standing around the field-o-fire with buckets (I am assuming of water) and hoses and shovels (not sure what the shovels are for, didn't stop to inquire).  Now, I am all about getting your kids to help around the house on Spring Break, but forcing them to act as your own personal volunteer fire department seems a bit inappropriate.  And a bucket of water being held by a seven year old twenty feet from your home is probably not what your insurance guy had in mind when he asked you if you had the appropriate fire preventative devices to qualify for that new lower rate on your home insurance. Just throwing that out there.

4. Finally, I make it back to Oxford and run by office to check in before heading home.  I get a call on my phone from a number I don't know.  Its my vet.  Who lives in my neighborhood.  Who is calling me to tell me my devil dog is running around the neighborhood.  Now, let me tell you about Devil Dog.  She stays in our backyard during the day which is closed in by a six foot privacy fence.  Which, after she continuously refused to stay in, Robby strung with electrical wire that is supposedly streaming high voltage electricity all along the bottom of the fence.  Now, in Devil Dog's defense, I checked the wire and its not currently working.  But I have to ask myself, how many times did that stupid dog go up to that wire and get shocked before trying today and realizing it wasn't working.  I mean, she just didn't think to herself, "hey, I havne't dug under this fence in a while, the last time a tried I got electrocuted, but I mean, maybe today will be different."  I bet her heart skipped a beat when she realized she was free.  Free at last.  Her and Mad Cow should really get together - they could write a book called Going Rogue.  Oh wait, someone already did that...