Most important on my list: buying pants. And oh did I buy pants. I bought black pants and gray pants and green pants and brown pants and khaki pants. And they were all glorious. Each of them had wonderful, expandable, sewn in belly panels. For those of you not understanding the importance of this...please read the previous post. They all fit without circulation being cut off to lower extremities and none of them are in any risk of falling down in a public place. I may never go back to non-maternity pants. Ever.
Now, while I was in the last dressing room of the day, shoving myself into my non-maternity jeggings wishing I could wear a pair of my new, panelled pants out of the store I notice something quite embarrassing - my shirt had a hole in it. And not like a "oh darn I snagged my shirt on a nail and didn't realize it" kind of hole. No friend. A "I am busting out of the seem of my shirt - like literally the seams are ripping apart" kind of hole. Freaking great. I get the whole pant situation taken care of but now the top half of my wardrobe is ripping open - literally. Oh, and even better. I have been all over the greater Jackson area with the seams of my shirt ripped open. Which led me to this....an image I am scared I will be resembling by June. She should really invest in a full belly panel.
As you seen, she has decided to forgo sleeves all together. Which is smart. You don't want to mangle the sleeves ...
So I think...well crap. Guess I need to get some maternity shirts. But wait. Wait one little second. THIS IS A MATERNITY SHIRT. Good gosh o'mighty. I am ripping open maternity shirts. And I am fifteen weeks pregnant. I am going to have to buy a Coleman Tent to wear for the next five months. I make that guy (see above) look like an amateur. He has muscles to rip open his shirt. I just needed my sausage arms. And an apparent lack of treadmill time. And a baby the size of an apple.
I walked around with a shirt ripped open all day. At a baby shower. At Target. At Motherhood. At lunch. But, lets this this through. Maybe I don't have to buy a tent right off the bat. Perhaps I can invest in a MuuMuu. I googled them. You can totally still buy these stylish items of yesteryear. Found a website. $1.99 shipping. I like this little number in particular. Its got sass.
But now, after a few days of reflection and clarity, I have decided to wait on the tent/muu muu purchase. Perhaps it was just a manufacturer's defect in my ripped-arm shirt. Perhaps, I could just ask someone who knows how to sew to do what they do and fix my shirt and stitch it a little tighter this time. PERHAPS I should go buy (and then eat ) an entire jar of olives immediately. Because I am almost positive you should be rewarded for ripping open a shirt at only fifteen weeks pregnant. Its hard to do. Or so I hear.
Oh yeah, speaking of being fifteen weeks pregnant. I forget, I am supposed to be documenting my pregnancy. Writing about the joys of impending motherhood so Peanut can come back one day and read about just how excited we were about it's/his/her arrival. Right, right, right. Okay, lets see . . . an actual update.
Well I went to the doctor last week and got to hear its/his/her heartbeat. Which the doc said was perfect. I think her exact words were something like "you have a strong, healthy baby in there." I wanted to tell her it was from all the bacon I had been eating, but didn't think she really cared. But hearing good news about your child's heart is always reassuring. AND ....we now have a date set for the gender release party - February 9. I am excited to be able to drop the whole it/him/her/shim game. Feel like I am at a bad tranny drag show that just won't end.
Stay tuned.
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