My Daily Pregnancy Calendar

Dear Online Daily Pregnancy Calendar:

I do appreciate your daily updates regarding my impending motherhood.  Mostly because it satisfies my need for instant gratification but also because some of your posts are quite informative.  For example, your weekly updates as to Peanut's approximate size make me feel like we are actually working towards our goal - which is to gain ten pounds over the next seven months and then birth a ten pound baby. However, I must complain about a few of your posts as being less than helpful and also point out a few items of my pregnancy you might want to address.  Soon.

1. "Washing your face several times a day may help with skin breakouts."  Gee, thanks.  I went through puberty.  My mom bought me a tub of Noxema at age 12 just like yours did.  Besides, I wash my face every day anyways - you shouldn't have to tell people this.  What you should be offering is some kind of useful advice like what is the strongest, most potent crap I can put on my face that will not cause my child to have three ears.  Because obviously, just washing your face isn't enough. Why don't you do a little research and formulate a lotion/cream/wash that will literally strip all the skin off my face (including the places where it is peeling and the places where it is broken out and the places where it has decided to just change colors) and replace it with skin that is, at a minimum, not frightening to small children. Oh, and if you could make this wonder drug all natural and even organic, well that would be helpful too. 

2. "Sleeping on your stomach is likely impossible now.  Try sleeping on your side."  WHEW. Again, thank you so much for this post.  I had been planning on getting Robby to rig up some way to tie me to the door frame so I could sleep standing up.  Never had it occurred to me to just roll over to my side.  By golly, Calendar, you are a life saver.

3.  As for a post your might want to include: "You are likely a raving lunatic right about now.  This is natural.  And so is bursting into tears at any picture of a baby animal, any less than supportive word by your spouse, and at any other time you feel happy, sad, bored, worried, excited, or even breathe."  Then perhaps you could include a link to the closest place currently serving sausage and cheese platters with a side of apple cobbler and ice cream. 



This just seems helpful, but perhaps its just me?

Sincerely,

Ashley